A spirit-led journey to relational accountability - a visiting approach to understanding interconnections between substance use, healing pathways, and mino-bimaadiziwin: conversations with Anishinabek

Abstract

This knowledge sharing process is a complexity of interconnection. To summarize these relational findings into an abstract is virtually impossible. However, I will summarize that findings of this relational-based research allowed for me to continue walking a good path. We as Indigenous researchers and knowledge gatherers must ensure that Indigenous stories stay whole. We are knowledge gathers and should acknowledge that stories are vessels for teachings to be passed down. These stories ought to remain together to share the words and understandings most appropriately. For me, it was a process consisting of more than just holding onto people’s stories, but I also held onto their traumas and pain that they shared with me. This was an unintended outcome for myself that I had to cope with throughout this process. When storytellers would share these heavy burdens onto my shoulders, I would sit with these stories for weeks and months at a time, reflecting on their journey through life. These stories often connected to me on a personal level through familiar connections, community connections, or stories that my late brother, Ryan, could have shared himself. There was a lot of emotional work done on my end, as I needed to ensure I honoured these stories and people, but also protected myself and grounded myself throughout this process. I let the heaviness ground my feet, and those feet turned into roots that supported me throughout the remainder of this process, and arguably, for the rest of my life. There is a common catalyst, which speaks to shared experiences around familial patterns of trauma(s), substance-based coping mechanisms and a cultural disconnect from community, culture, and sense of belonging. Trauma is multifaceted and multi-layered, and in no way does this analysis or discussion compound it into a singular understanding; I propose here that colonial interference on families created conditions of similarity, and thus, outcomes resulting in shared stories follow a similar pattern or series of events. The importance here lies in understanding how trauma is a catalyst for destruction. If trauma is not faced and addressed in a way that speaks to the depths and shadows that it lurks within, it will continue to reinforce high-risk coping behaviours as attempts to numb and mask pain through, often, polysubstance use. Stories shared highlighted this concept of being born into pre-established patterns of addiction. These realities were considered ‘normal’ everyday situations, which perpetuated notions around not addressing traumas, but rather masking it through substance use protective strategies. The main takeaway here is that the cyclical nature of intergenerational trauma is limited in its understanding of how and why substances are used through the lens of masking and numbing pain through a multi-layered familial perspective. These specific environments produce situations of normalization, which ultimately favour patterns of cyclical re-traumatization. The common theme spoke to the idea that coping mechanisms such as silence was used as a way to actively avoid responsibility, accountability or acknowledgement of child-related harms or the harms inflicted on themselves, as the parents, in their younger years. Silence throughout the stories reinforced emotional dysregulation and disengagement, which ultimately reinforced a positive association with coping through substance use. However, despite the darkness and silence of trauma and collective pain, there is a brighter element of healing that consumed me throughout the process. Living in a good way benefits community and collective growth. When we are living a good life, Anishinaabek believes that our way forward is to live humbly, to lead with love and compassion, even in the face of racism and hatred, as Anishinabek can see good in all things when we come from a place of healing and understanding. However, it is important to note that living according to Anishinaabek customs and protocols truly means living according to these ways of life. Mino-Bimaadiziwin is a substantial and complex way of life. It is an understanding that is unique to the person who is explaining it, and everyone can explain it differently. However, it is founded on living and walking a good life. Relational-based knowledge gathering is exactly what is described above. It is complex and sensitive, but relational knowledge gathering is fundamentally a process of healing, collectively and individually. Healing is a connection. Mino-Bimaadiziwin is a subjective understanding of what is important to an individual and how they walk the path to healing, meaningfully feeding the spirit within. Healing is the Circle, and being actively involved in deciding what is important to you on your journey to (re)connecting. Relational understanding around healing is creating space and a place that welcomes many truths which originate from collective Indigenous experiences.